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Successful
entrepreneurs for the most part are assertive.
They do not have a problem in asking for what they
want, or saying no to other's demands that are not
in their best interest. They feel secure in their
actions and are willing to accept the risk of confrontation.
They have the courage
of their convictions. They know the price of leadership
is sometimes standing alone.
What does it mean to be
assertive? It is the emotional ability
to assert your rights, to express yourself, and to
stand up for yourself and what you believe in. It
is to be able to declare who you are, what you feel
and think. It involves openness, honesty, and firmness.
It is an active approach to the problems of life as
opposed to an unsuccessful
passive approach. People who are not assertive
tend to be passive, inhibited and submissive. Not
admirable qualities for an entrepreneur.
Assertiveness is acting in your own best interest.
It is the ability to function at ease in a variety of personal relationships.
It is the ability to function as a leader and manager.
Assertiveness
is setting limits on time and energy. It is having
the inner strength to withstand criticism, put-downs,
or anger. It is expressing
honest feelings in a comfortable manner. It means
the ability to disagree, to show anger, to show affection,
to admit fears, and to be spontaneous - all with self-confidence.
Assertiveness is the ability to demand your personal
rights, to be able to express your opinions and to have the courage to cause
change. Assertive people rarely play the role of victim.
Assertive behavior is a positive attitude and
a self-affirmation that places value on the other people in your life. It will
help you to a happier and more fulfilling life.
Benefits of Learning to be Assertive:
The most important benefit is freedom from anxiety. With the
amount of stress you will have from your business, anything that lessens tension
and anxious feelings will be beneficial. Developing assertiveness
tends to reduce the anxieties you may feel in relationships with others. Worrying
too much about what you are going to say and do in handling any particular situation
will make you anxious. Learning appropriate assertive responses
will reduce those anxious feelings.
Another important benefit
is emotional
freedom. When we feel restricted and limited in
our freedom to respond to others, we are limiting
our personal freedom. People who "walk on eggs"
with others are not spontaneous. No one should be
subject to the domination, whims or aggression of
others. If you are unable to be assertive,
you are not free.
Becoming assertive is not easy. If you have a
passive personality, and wish to be more assertive, you can do
so. Many have. However, it will take effort, and a sustained desire to do so.
If you feel you have problems in communicating or feeling confident enough
to be open and honest with others, you may need some training. If you
have the time and money, the easiest way is to see a psychologist specializing
in such behavior therapy. However, as you probably need every dollar for your
business, you may have to rely on your ability and determination to learn to
become assertive.
You may wish to check with your local community college. If
you cannot locate or attend a course, visit your library or local bookstore.
You will find a variety of titles on the subject.
A Few Suggestions to Learn to be Assertive:
1. To begin with, you must have a sincere desire to change your
behavior.
2. To bring about a change in your reaction to people, you must
be willing to assume emotional risk.
3. Be prepared to surprise those who know you, as they will
not be expecting your responses.
4. Start gradually; assume small risks at first, which allows
you to develop confidence in your ability to handle the challenge.
5. Be easy on yourself; accept the fact there is no perfect
response to every situation.
6. Practice being fair and honest in your dealings with others.
7. Do not use gimmicks or pat answers to solve problems.
8. Place a value on yourself.
9. Do not be upset if not everyone likes you. Do you like everyone?
If you do try to change, learning new behavior skills will require
effort and practice, it will not be easy: I know from experience. However, you
will find a major benefit; there will be a more direct and open communication
with all you deal with.
Dr. Paul E. Adams
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