Sometimes we grow up with the idea that we should always be nice to people and that we should be giving and selfless when it comes to dealing with others.

While that may be a good idea growing up, what happens to a lot of adults is that they become trapped in a passive existence in which they're always at the mercy of others because of their attitudes, or lack of it.

Being assertive is not about becoming a mean or aggressive person, on the contrary. Being an assertive person has more to do with saying and doing the things that are necessary to get your needs met, and to get them met in such a way that it does not diminish the quality of life of those around you.

If we remain passive throughout life, we can never truly attain the things we want. And if we do get them, we cannot hold on to them. Being assertive is about taking responsibility for one's life and for one's own actions, and making sure that you do the things that are necessary to achieve something important.

Accept Responsibility The first step to becoming a more assertive person is to become a more responsible person. In order to convince those around you that your needs and wants are just as important as anyone else's, you're going to have to think like a more responsible person.

Take ownership of your thoughts and your actions, and if you were complaining and blaming others before, then now is a good time to stop it. The best way to begin to take responsibility is to accept things the way they are, and stop complaining.

Responsible people learn to see themselves as people who make things happen, as people who get things done. Irresponsible people see themselves as victims, and so they react to circumstances with passive attitudes.

Take Initiative Learn to take more initiative in your life. After you've decided to take responsibility by stop complaining and by accepting the outcomes of your past decisions, you can begin to change things and become more assertive by learning to take more initiative.

This may relate to your job, your business, your relationships, or even for your personal health. This means that you are now open to creating solutions in your life rather than being passive to everything around you.

Taking initiative is a step by step process, and you can start small. Look for ways that you can make practical changes in your life. You may be dealing with a problem in a certain area of your life that you have been avoiding for awhile. So instead of ignoring it, take it head on. Begin to think. Think of ways you can solve it.

Make Decisions Passive people are people who don't make many decisions in life, and when they do, they're probably not all that good. Assertive people go about their lives constantly getting things done by making a lot of decisions, and by doing so they learn to make better ones as they go along.

How do you learn to make more decisions and to make them better? Well, after taking responsibility and taking initiative you are already on the way to making more decisions and becoming more assertive. To make quality decisions however, you need to keep this thought in mind:

"Will the outcome of this decision add value to my life and the life of others or will it do the opposite?"

Always keep that sentence in your mind when you are faced with making decisions, especially very important ones.

Develop Passion Develop a passion for something that you really want to bring about in your life. The reason for this is because deep burning desires to be, do, or have something will tend to create a natural feeling that will make us want to achieve.

This desire to achieve will assist you in becoming a more assertive person. Because you will be so consumed with ensuring that your dreams, goals, or vision comes to fruition, you will go about your life making decisions and acting in a proactive way to get things done.

Find something that you are really passionate about achieving. This is one of the most effective ways to develop more assertiveness. You must reach a point of burning desire that says: "I'm going to do whatever it takes to achieve this goal!"