Assertiveness is... the ability to maintain one's rights while recognizing the rights of the other person depends on the skill of assertiveness in a situation and responding in a way that enables you to retain your self-esteem without doing damage to the self-esteem of others. It is to be in charge of a situation by manifesting assertiveness. This assertiveness type response will allow space for the rights of others while maintaining our own self-worth given to you.

The anger that a person has when realizing his/her own powerlessness can be exchanged for the authority in all things as he/she gains understanding of his/her position. When we recognize we have the power to appropriate these resources and allow ourselves to have assertiveness. We can be "in charge" and quit shying away from acknowledging the need for personal power.

A person has assertiveness by process: as an inner stability and security is experienced through enlightenment of individual uniqueness. This does not give us rights. It simply means, in any given situation we make our own choices. Response within a given situation is based upon truth. Therefore, we have the calm assurance that our actions are part of his overall design and purpose for our own lives and the lives to which we are relating.
Assertiveness says, "I have a right to make my own choices, which may be negative or positive." This is free will. Assertiveness becomes at this point boldness.

Assertiveness works because of your position not your personality!
How does assertiveness help me? It allows you to:

Gain self-confidence and self-respect

Resolve conflicts and disputes of long standing

Express anger constructively

Overcome feelings of personal powerlessness and shyness

Express assertiveness by eye contact, body posture, gesture, facial expressions, tone of voice, and timing.

And most important of all- being assertive will set you free to express affection - caring and joy!

Tips on knowing how to become assertive:

Focus and Flexibility

Know your agenda and stick to it

Be willing to change your mind or mind set

Communicate honestly

Know your boundaries

Know your limitations

Practice discernment