Often we find ourselves spending precious time and energy in doing tasks that are not our responsibility. Be it by authority or persuasion, coworkers and bosses manage to assign their dreary job to us and our inability to say not makes them successful. They enjoy themselves while we go on a roller coaster ride to finish the work and wonder why in the first place we agreed to it. The fear of facing uncomfortable consequences or hurting others is the reason.

A sense of assertiveness will save us from such situations. At workplaces, where unreasonable expectations, rigid deadlines, outbursts of emotions and crafty people keep trying you every moment it is all the more necessary to develop this skill.

Assertiveness is the ability to express your point the way you intend others to take it. At the same time, it demands that you don't infringe on others rights or hurt them in the attempt. Being aware that each of us has the right to express our emotions and opinions makes us assertive. People with this attribute avoid being taken for granted, burdened with additional work, bade-life balance and accommodate more activities in life.

Start Now: Condescending, at home or workplace, not only denies us our rights but also leads to depression, aggression, marring of relationships and health aliments. Constant suppression of your disgruntlement will make you blurt out your unhappiness eventually, which may not appear rational to others. Thus always be assertive from the start though it is not too late to start now.

Remember: Once you decide to be assertive, remember that people are accustomed to your previous behavior and would be taken aback with your new attitude. The best way to avoid any misgivings and offense is to announce that you are attempting a change. Tell them that you are facing troubles with the way you are being perceived till now and are now looking forward to your colleagues' cooperation in your attempt.

Do not apologize or accept blame unnecessarily. Such actions will force you to compromise your self-respect, induce in you an inferiority complex and project you in similar way to others also.

At this point it is also important to identify the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Aggression is accomplishing one s objective by being indifferent to others. Always keep a check on your behavior to avoid slipping to being aggressive from assertive as it could hamper your career progression. Here are a few steps towards being assertive:

Be prepared: Be prepared to face the consequences of being assertive. Assertive behavior might sometimes bring forth some negative reactions. But do not give up at this stage, as you will soon realize that it is worth the effort.

Selecting people: It is perfectly justifiable to think that the degree of assertion must vary according to the other person. But developing this attribute so that it comes out spontaneously will bring only positive results.

Be confident: Be confident about what you want to convey to others. Only then will your message. And actions match and have desired impact on the receiver.

Express yourself: When you think something must be conveyed or you would like to differ with others, speak out. Be prepared with what you want to say.

Maintain appropriate style: The tone and intensity of you speech must match the content of your message. Do not sound aggressive when you are commanding something but sound assertive by adding the consequences of not adhering to your demand. Do not mutter. Keep your voice firm and use fewer words. Maintain eye contact and appropriate posture.

Focus on your words: The words you use convey the strength of your message. When you need to get something done by others, do not use words like this must be done say that you want it to be done. This will get you the reverence and command you deserve.

Say no: Do not hesitate to say no to unreasonable expectations. Explain why you cannot accommodate their request. The reason can be that you are already assigned sufficient work, you have some other jobs to attend or simply because you finished your part of the job and need your share of relaxation.

Finally, remember that you cannot exploit others rights in efforts to save yours. Be warm, emphatic, diplomatic and honest to gain the advantages of being assertive and maintaining good relations at the same time.