Assertiveness is a vital skill for all people, regardless of whether they use it in the workplace or not. A mother must learn to be assertive in order to bring up a healthy and well-rounded child. A child must learn to be assertive in order to overcome bullies, get the most from their education and learn to set about achieving their life goals.

Assertiveness in the workplace is unique in that it must be combined with a professional approach. Every action you take within the workplace is likely to leave another person, be it client or colleague, with an impression of you. If that impression is negative in any way then complaints will be made and careers can be jeopardized. It is therefore necessary to learn how to be assertive in order to feel confident, achieve your goals and the company's goals while building a good working relationship with clients, contacts and colleagues.

It is easier to understand the importance of assertiveness when you consider what a lack of assertiveness means for a person. It is generally accepted that a non-assertiveness type person is either submissive or aggressive. If a person is submissive then he/she will do what other people tell them to do regardless of their own opinions and feelings. They will often not bother to offer their own opinions, but will accept the will of others and act accordingly. In short they are easy to command and to bully. One reason for this is fear.

Fear in the workplace can be due to a multitude of factors, such as fear of looking foolish or being wrong. This fear will prevent the person from exploring their own goals and potential and they will often be used and possibly even bullied by other people who are not submissive. This person will live out their life feeling anxious, afraid and undervalued and worse still, their many talents will never be appreciated.

On the other hand is the aggressive person. It is easy to confuse aggression with assertiveness, particularly as aggressive people can sometimes achieve their goals by intimidating more submissive types. It is important to remember, however, that aggression has no place in an assertive person. Every human being gets angry sometimes, but learn to control anger at work. If necessary, find an active outlet for your aggressive feelings once you leave the office.

Research methods of anger management if you know you are prone to outbursts. People will respect you for dealing with your feelings rather than judging you for having them in the first place. An assertive person will be able to calmly talk about why something has made them feel angry. Aggressive people intimidate other people and become hated themselves. Other people will not want to work with or for them and this will be detrimental to their working lives since people will not stay. Aggressive managers often have a high turnaround of staff and a history of complaints against them.

Assertiveness is therefore neither submissive nor aggressive, yet it achieves more than either one. Assertiveness is about overcoming fear and standing up for yourself, but doing it in a way that shows respect to all other people and their views. The start of assertiveness training is learning to express your own thoughts, opinions and desires, while listening and acknowledging those of other people. Just because two people have conflicting opinions, does not mean that any one is less valid. Everyone has different experiences to bring to a debate and they will all add value to a decision making process.

Begin to be assertive by carefully listening to other people's opinions on a topic, for example at a team meeting. Calmly and firmly express your own thoughts on the subject. It may be that you agree with the person sitting next to you. This is acceptable, as long as you are not agreeing with them out of habit, submission or fear of presenting your own ideas. Always state why you agree or disagree with a person.

Another way to begin to be more assertive is to examine your current job and the way you do it. Perhaps there is something that could be done more efficiently or some extra task that could increase productivity. Managers approve of staff that take the initiative to improve their own work. Thoroughly and carefully prepare your ideas, stating what will be gained by the change you propose. Do not be afraid of your ideas being rejected, as part of being assertive is understanding that even good ideas are rejected sometimes. A manager will at least notice that you are becoming more assertive and may be impressed with the skill in which you presented your idea. This may lead them to consider you for other roles in the future.

Learning to become more assertive does not mean that you will to become dominant over other people. Indeed this should not be your goal. Assertive people can be seen in all walks of life and at all levels of a company. It is more about using the skills to control yourself and a situation effectively. This will gain you the respect of people you work with on a daily basis. It will also put you on a more even level to other people since aggressive people will not be able to dominate you and you will not dominate submissive people. In this way you will gain the respect of those around you and will be happier in your own working life.