The goal of our Assertiveness Training is to enable participants to learn to express their rights, requests, opinions, and feelings honestly, directly, and appropriately without violating the rights and self-esteem of others.

Each Assertiveness Training Institute training seminar begins with a self-assessment that enables individuals to understand their personality. We delve into each person’s strengths, weaknesses and stress areas to help people understand what makes them “tick.” We then begin the process of enabling participants to understand how to communicate more effectively with others. Through various activities and assertiveness training exercises, participants then begin to recognize other communication styles and the best way to communicate to them. Here is when the process of becoming more assertive truly takes shape – by understanding the needs of other communication styles, participants learn how to express their opinion and stand up for their interests regardless of who they are dealing with.

For more information on our assertiveness training courses contact us here.

Assertiveness Training: If Being Assertive is So Good, Why Do I Feel So Bad Asserting Myself?

One of my family members recently emailed me to ask me this question about assertiveness. It's a question I've been asked many times over the years. It's usually asked by people who are just beginning to gain assertiveness skills. My family member provided the details of her particular dilemma. She is having a disagreement with a former employer who borrowed items that he hasn't returned. In response to her request to return her items, he is being difficult, harassing and even threatening a lawsuit. My response is this: Congratulations on being assertive and standing up for yourself and for your rights! You have a right to ask for your items back. It can be very challenging to do so when the frightened part of you may be shouting: "It's all your fault for making him mad. You're bad."

One of the reasons you may be feeling bad is because you might have been taught to be nice and not confront so it's difficult for you to be assertive.. The other thing is, maybe you're not yet comfortable with being assertive.

Being assertive verbally requires practice in assertiveness communication skills. It also takes planning ahead what you're going to say and how you're going to say it. So you may have come across as ills being aggressive which may have left the other person on the defensive. This is especially true if he's used to you behaving in a passive manner and now suddenly you've changed. He may not know how to deal with your new assertive behavior. I also get the feeling he's attempting to frighten you. By threatening a lawsuit, he may be hoping you'll go back from being assertive to being passive (about your items).

I often tell assertiveness training clients clients that behaving in an assertive manner can result in a fallout from the other side. And if you're afraid of losing that relationship, it can be a deterrent to behaving assertively. But would you prefer to be always mad at yourself because you never speak up for your needs and constantly feel disrespected and mistreated by others? Would you prefer to lose out on a relationship with yourself?

That's a choice you have to make. Personally I have found that being assertive and speaking up for my needs over the years has helped me become more at peace in my life and more comfortable in my own skin. By employing assertive communication I can live with myself so much better because I don't allow others to treat me with disrespect. Being assertive, I now have a relationship with myself which I never had when I allowed myself to be constantly disrespected by others.

There are some questions for you to ask yourself about this particular assertiveness situation. The first is, how important is it to you to have these items returned? Second, how much of your time is being consumed by this particular issue? Third, is it really worth that much of your time and energy? Remember that learning assertiveness skills isn't a one-situation deal. The point is to be assertive and let this person know that you will no longer tolerate being disrespected. You have demonstrated that by asking to have your items returned. You have a right to those items.

Some assertiveness communication tips: It's important to state your point calmly and clearly. And if there is still resistance on his part to returning your items you might consider writing them off as bad debts if you have no desire to take this to court. Despite the outcome, keep practicing being assertive in your every day life. I'm very proud of you for being assertive and standing up for your needs and speaking up for yourself. If you want to get more practice with assertiveness skills, I'm here for you.

Source: Lorna Blake Link

For more information on our assertiveness training seminars contact us here.

Back to Top