Assertiveness Training Seminars
The goal of our Assertiveness Training seminar is to enable participants to learn to express their rights, requests, opinions, and feelings honestly, directly, and appropriately without violating the rights and self-esteem of others.
Each
Assertiveness Training Institute training
seminar begins with a self-assessment that
enables individuals to understand their personality.
We delve into each person’s strengths,
weaknesses and stress areas to help people understand
what makes them “tick.” We then
begin the process of enabling participants to
understand how to
communicate
more effectively with others. Through various
activities and assertiveness training exercises, participants
then begin to recognize other communication
styles and the best way to communicate to them.
Here is when the process of becoming more assertive
truly takes shape – by understanding the
needs of other communication styles, participants
learn how to express their opinion and stand
up for their interests regardless of who they
are dealing with.
For more information on our
assertiveness training seminars
contact us
here.
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Assertive communication can strengthen your
relationships, reducing stress from conflict and
providing you with social support when facing
difficult times. A polite but assertive ‘no’ to
excessive requests from others will enable you to
avoid overloading your schedule and promote balance in
your life. Assertive communication can also help you
handle difficult family, friends and co-workers more
easily, reducing drama and stress.
Here's How:
When approaching someone about behavior you’d like to
see changed, stick to factual descriptions of what
they’ve done that’s upset you, rather than labels or
judgments.
Here’s an example:
Situation:
Your friend, who habitually arrives late for your
plans, has shown up twenty minutes late for a lunch
date.
Inappropriate: "You’re so rude! You’re always late."
Assertive Communication: "We were supposed to meet at
11:30, but now it’s 11:50."
The same should be done if describing the effects of
their behavior. Don’t exaggerate, label or judge; just
describe:
Inappropriate: “Now lunch is ruined.”
Assertive Communication: “Now I have less time to
spend lunching because I still need to be back to work
by 1pm.”
Use “I Messages”. Simply put, if you start a sentence
off with “You”, it comes off as more of a judgment or
attack, and puts people on the defensive. If you start
with “I”, the focus is more on how you are feeling and
how you are affected by their behavior. Also, it shows
more ownership of your reactions, and less blame.
For example:
‘You Message’: “You need to stop that!”
‘I Message’: “I’d like it if you’d stop that.”
Here’s a great formula that puts it all together:
“When you [their behavior], I feel [your feelings].”
When used with factual statements, rather than
judgments or labels, this formula provides a direct,
non-attacking, more responsible way of letting people
know how their behavior affects you. For example:
“When you yell, I feel attacked.”
A more advanced variation of this formula includes the
results of their behavior (again, put into factual
terms), and looks like this:
“When you [their behavior], then [results of their
behavior], and I feel [how you feel].”
Here are some examples:
“When you arrive late, I have to wait, and I feel
frustrated.”
“When you tell the kids they can do something that
I’ve already forbidden, some of my authority as a
parent is taken away, and I feel undermined.”
Tips:
Make sure your body reflects confidence: stand up
straight, look people in the eye, and relax.
Use a firm, but pleasant, tone.
Don’t assume you know what the other person’s motives
are, especially if you think they’re negative.
When in a discussion, don’t forget to listen and ask
questions! It’s important to understand the other
person’s point of view as well.
Try to think win-win: see if you can find a compromise
or a way for you both get your needs met.
Source: Elizabeth Scott
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Related: Assertiveness Training
For more information on our assertiveness training
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