The goal of our Assertiveness Training is to enable participants to learn to express their rights, requests, opinions, and feelings honestly, directly, and appropriately without violating the rights and self-esteem of others.

Each Assertiveness Training Institute training seminar begins with a self-assessment that enables individuals to understand their personality. We delve into each person’s strengths, weaknesses and stress areas to help people understand what makes them “tick.” We then begin the process of enabling participants to understand how to communicate more effectively with others. Through various activities and assertiveness training exercises, participants then begin to recognize other communication styles and the best way to communicate to them. Here is when the process of becoming more assertive truly takes shape – by understanding the needs of other communication styles, participants learn how to express their opinion and stand up for their interests regardless of who they are dealing with.

For more information on our assertiveness training courses contact us here.

Assertiveness Training: Become Truly Assertive

Assertiveness skills are very important in many situations; assertiveness means you are letting people know what you want, need or prefer, in a way which is acceptable to both you and them. Put simply; assertiveness is about getting what you want without upsetting anyone!

Let's start by defining assertiveness.

Definition Of Assertion

"Expressing opinions, thoughts and feelings in a non-defensive manner clearly and openly. It is being able to make requests and to refuse requests that are unacceptable"

Indicators Of Non-Verbal Assertiveness, Aggressive & Passive Behavior

If you want to become more assertive, pay particular attention to your non-verbal behavior as this needs to be in line with your verbal behavior. If they are at odds it is the non-verbal behavior that is usually believed The following are indicators, and only that. Just because someone does not have good eye contact and looks away a lot, does not mean to say that they are passive. It is their whole demeanor that is important

Assertiveness Non-Verbal Behavior

Firm eye contact, not staring

Expresses anger and pleasure in face when appropriate, sincere reaction

Features are steady, not set or changing frequently

Stands and sits upright

Open hand movements - relaxed posture, head held up

Aggressive Non-Verbal Behavior

Tries to dominate by staring

Finger pointing

Gives very knowing smile and set face when angry

Arms crossed

Stands and sits upright, head 'in air', leaning forward

Raised eyebrows in disbelief

Jabbing movements with hands, banging desk, clenched fists

Paces impatiently

Sits forward or steps forward

Passive Non-Verbal Behavior

Hesitant eye contact

Looks away often and down

Over smiles, gives ghost smile, even if angry

Quick changing features

Slouches, head down

Fluttering hand movement, or playing with fingers or wringing hands

Sits back or steps back

Eyes raised in anticipation

Now let's take a look at verbal behavior.

Indicators Of Verbal Assertiveness, Aggressive & Passive Behavior

Assertiveness

Questions to find out thoughts, requirements, etc. of others

Offers suggestions and ideas, not advice

Never blames others

Distinguishes fact from fiction (assumption, opinion)

Steady voice, clear, well pitched, warm and sincere

'I' statements. 'I prefer', 'I'd like'

Clear concise statements, to the point. 'I'd like to introduce this into the department within 3 months', instead of wrapping up what you want with so much waffle it is unclear what you actually want

Focusing on what can be done, not what can't be done

Problem solving statements

Ability to give and receive feedback, both developmental and motivational

Aggressive

Hard, brusque, over firm, voice rises at the end of sentences

Too many 'I' statements

Abrupt statements, often containing 'My' said in a superior fashion

Hostile, threatening questions

Blame put on anyone but self

Gives feedback in the form of 'Well, what you should do is...' Does not solicit or accept feedback easily

Doesn't ask questions to find out facts, makes assumptions

Sarcastic, point scoring

Assumptions and opinions are put over as facts - uses statements like: 'Well you probably wouldn't remember', and “Not that you'd understand"

Passive

Often lifeless voice, too quiet, monotone, over warm, voice drops away at the end of the sentence

Waffle, long-winded statements

Uses lots of "fill-in" words e.g. 'Um', 'Yes', 'Well'

Continually apologizes and asks permission

Few 'I' statements

Puts self down, 'Well I never could do it as well as you'

Feels the need to justify a great deal

Agrees with people, often with people of opposing views (Just to keep the peace)

In Summary: We All Have Assertiveness Rights

The right to be assertive

The right to choose not to be assertive

The right to have and to express our views

The right to be listened to

The right to make decisions

The right to admit we don't know

The right to say 'no' without feeling guilty

The right to be consulted about decisions affecting us

The right to change our mind

The right to be treated with respect

In fact, the right to do anything that does not violate the rights of others

Source: Jonathan Farrington link

Related: Assertiveness Training

For more information on our assertiveness training seminars contact us here.

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