Assertiveness Training Seminars
The goal of our Assertiveness Training seminar is to enable participants to learn to express their rights, requests, opinions, and feelings honestly, directly, and appropriately without violating the rights and self-esteem of others.
Each
Assertiveness Training Institute training
seminar begins with a self-assessment that
enables individuals to understand their personality.
We delve into each person’s strengths,
weaknesses and stress areas to help people understand
what makes them “tick.” We then
begin the process of enabling participants to
understand how to
communicate
more effectively with others. Through various
activities and assertiveness training exercises, participants
then begin to recognize other communication
styles and the best way to communicate to them.
Here is when the process of becoming more assertive
truly takes shape – by understanding the
needs of other communication styles, participants
learn how to express their opinion and stand
up for their interests regardless of who they
are dealing with.
For more information on our
assertiveness training seminars
contact us
here.
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To be assertive isn't to say you are mean or rude.
It doesn't make you pushy or annoying. It just means
that you say the truth and get things done.
1. Work on your appearance. - How you look tells a lot
about you.
If you're wearing clothes that look like you've just
got out of bed, or if you wear a pound of make-up with
fluffy high-heels, people won't take you seriously.
If you look like you're ready to get things done,
people will know what to expect from you. A good motto
is "Dress for Success." This will let people respect
you more.
2. Have a confident demeanor. You give away a lot
before you ever open your mouth.
Try not to be easy to read, even if you are nervous or
uncertain.
Keep your shoulders squared and your chin up. Even if
you are confused, you can be confident. There's no
shame in asking questions.
Try to look people in the eye. This can be hard for
people who are naturally nervous or timid, but it
shows people that you don't intend to be brushed off.
3. Use a clear, calm voice. You don't need to be loud,
but you do need to make yourself heard. If people
aren't noticing you and you need service, say clearly
"Excuse me." Also, whatever you are trying to say, try
to be concise.
4. Know what you want. People can tell if you already
know what you want out of them, and it's much easier
for them to do what you ask them if you can tell them
clearly what that is. Whether you're speaking to an
insurance agent or a waiter, their job is to serve you
and you'll make their job about ten times easier if
you know what you want.
5. Know when to hold 'em; know when to fold 'em. Like
anything else in life, being assertive is about
balance. If the waiter made a mistake and brought you
something you're allergic to, speak up--and keep at it
until the problem is corrected. But if a cashier
growls at you, it's not your job to educate them on
manners and customer service, so let it go. It's
important to get what you deserve in life, but it's
just as important to understand what it is that you
deserve in the first place! Pick your battles.
6. Don't misdirect your frustration. If the airline
counter agent tells you you must pay extra for your
heavy bag, don't get angry at the agent! Your beef is
with the airline's policy (and possibly your failure
to read the fine print). Instead, treat the agent like
an ally. If the policy was made available to you,
apologize and ask for an exception. If you were never
informed of the policy, say so, and ask for an
exception. Either way, the agent herself did you no
harm, so do not direct your frustration at her! She is
not the aggressor; she's your potential ally. So treat
her well and negotiate respectfully...then take the
matter up with the airline's customer service agents.
If you're about to engage in an important encounter,
like asking for a raise or getting out of an unhealthy
relationship, ask a friend to role-play with you.
Practice what you are going to say, and have your
friend give you feedback. If you aren't assertive
enough, try it again. This works best if the friend
knows the person with whom you're about to engage.
Being assertive does not mean that you should be rude.
People are more willing to help and bend for someone
who is both direct and respectful. If you're doing
everything right and whoever you're talking to isn't
getting you anywhere, ask to talk to their superior
and be very insistent. Most of the time you'll see
immediate results.
Do not be afraid to ask questions. This way, in the
future, the same person you are talking to will know,
you know what you are talking about. Remember that
even if you don't know everything, you can still be
certain of what you expect.
Don't be afraid to tell someone exactly what you
think, but do so in a polite way.
Speak your mind.
If you have to deliver bad news, don't offer
unnecessary details. If you explain every single
reason for your decision, the other person can use
those reasons as negotiation points. Your decision is
firm, and this will come across most clearly if you
are short and to the point.
Avoid having to put your foot in your mouth! Ask for
what you want, and be assertive--but choose your words
so that you can walk away from the encounter with your
dignity, no matter what the outcome.
How willing are you to help someone who is yelling at
you? Not very, right? Anger and belittlement are not
only rude, they're completely ineffective. Do not
resort to these tactics; they simply don't work.
Remember the big picture. True assertiveness, as
opposed to pushiness, allows you to come away from any
situation respectably. Pushy people may win battles,
but only assertive people win wars. (And only
assertive people keep the respect of their peers after
a conflict.)
While you can use these techniques on authority
figures, such as police officers and military
officers, know where to draw the line. Arguing too
much on the spot can backfire, even if you have a good
case. In confrontations especially, emotions can run
high. Remember to be respectful and keep a cool head.
The key to success in confrontations is to use an
appropriate tone of voice and the correct words. Speak
to someone like you would like to be spoken to!
Try asking first; don't demand things right off the
bat. Gather information and make the other person an
ally. If that approach doesn't work, then you may put
your foot down. Rule out miscommunications first--make
sure the person actually slighted you, and knowingly,
before you come out with guns blazing. You wouldn't
try to kill a fly with a shotgun, would you
Source: Ben Rubenstein
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Related: Assertiveness Training
For more information on our assertiveness training
seminars contact us here. |
