Assertiveness Training Courses
The goal of our Assertiveness Training
course is to enable participants to learn to express their rights, requests, opinions, and feelings honestly, directly, and appropriately without violating the rights and self-esteem of others.
Each
Assertiveness Training Institute training
course begins with a self-assessment that
enables individuals to understand their personality.
We delve into each person’s strengths,
weaknesses and stress areas to help people understand
what makes them “tick.” We then
begin the process of enabling participants to
understand how to
communicate
more effectively with others. Through various
activities and assertiveness training exercises, participants
then begin to recognize other communication
styles and the best way to communicate to them.
Here is when the process of becoming more assertive
truly takes shape – by understanding the
needs of other communication styles, participants
learn how to express their opinion and stand
up for their interests regardless of who they
are dealing with.
For more information on our
assertiveness training
courses
contact us
here.
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"Don't just focus on what you want to say. Most
misunderstandings arise because of how you say it."
Regardless of the level of our communication skill,
interacting with people can often be quite stressful.
Learning to be assertive can help us reduce and cope
with this stress. Assertiveness is a communication
style where we express our personal rights and
feelings more openly.
Everyone is assertive to some level, but the level of
assertiveness could vary according to the social
situation. For example, a man could be very assertive
with his colleagues at work, but not with his wife and
kids. Assertiveness training (AT) defines some basic
concepts and skills to enhance our assertive behavior
under varied social interactions.
Communication Style
Assertiveness training defines three different
communication styles used by us when we interact with
someone:
Aggressive: Examples of aggressive behavior are
fighting, accusing, threatening, and a general
disregard for the other persons feeling. Aggression is
about dominance. A person is aggressive when they
impose their will onto another person and tries to
force them to submit.
Passive: People behave passively when they let others
push them around, when they do not stand up for
themselves, and when they do what they are told
regardless of how they feel about it. Passivity is
about submission. Nobody likes being dominated, but it
might seem like the smart thing to do at the time
(perhaps to avoid disagreement or confrontation).
Assertive: Assertiveness is about finding the middle
path. We behave assertively when we stand up for
ourselves (when required), express our true feelings,
and do not let others take advantage of us while, at
the same time, being considerate of others' feelings.
Obviously being aggressive or passive has its
advantages. If you are always aggressive, people won't
try to push you around and you may get things done by
cowing others down. People who are passive and give in
to the demands of others may stave of disagreements or
confrontation and be generally liked by everyone.
However, if you are conceived as pushy and aggressive,
people would prefer to avoid you. Passive people might
end up being taken for a ride, as people take
advantage of them, and feel anger and resentment.
Personal Boundaries / Rights
Assertive behavior is about a balanced approach. It is
not about simply choosing between an aggressive or
passive style of communication. It's about respecting
the rights (personal boundaries) and feelings of
others and expecting others to respect your rights and
feelings too. If someone doesn't respect your rights
and feelings, you communicate it to them. It isn't
about scoring points or getting even by lashing out at
them (aggressive) or feeling hurt and not talking
about it so as to not embarrass the other person
(passive). Assertiveness is about respect - for self
and others.
Assertiveness training emphasizes that to be
assertive, one must be clear about their (and others)
rights while communicating. The five basic rights of
every individual:
You have the right to do anything as long as it does
not hurt someone.
You have the right to maintain your dignity by being
assertive - even if it hurts someone else (provided
you are not intentionally trying to hurt them i.e.
being aggressive).
You have the right to make a request from someone, as
long as you recognize that the other person has the
rights to say no.
In many interpersonal situations the rights aren't
clear. But you always have the right to discuss the
problem with the persons involved, to clarify it.
You have the rights to your rights.
Assertive Behavior
The behavioral characteristics of assertion include:
Openness implies being clear and specific about what
you want, think and feel. A lack of openness often
leads to misunderstanding. "I didn't like that movie",
"I feel irritated when you show up late", "I want to
eat Chinese. Can we get Chinese?" are statements that
are clear and unlikely to be misinterpreted.
Directness means addressing the person / situation
directly. For example, if you are in a group and want
to say something to someone, communicate directly with
that person instead of addressing the whole group and
hoping that the person gets the message. Or, if you
want your husband to get you vegetables from the
supermarket, address it directly, "Will you please get
a packet of frozen peas from the supermarket?" instead
of asking, "Will you, by any chance, be going out
today?".
Honesty in communication implies that you be truthful
and not mislead the other person. Example: your friend
says, "I don't like your hairstyle" and you reply,
"Yes, I don't too" when in fact you actually do. When
we aren't honest, we deprive the other person a chance
to get to understand and know us better.
Appropriateness implies taking the social and cultural
context into consideration before communicating.
Asking out a girl in a bar might be appropriate, but
trying to get a date with a widow on her husbands
funeral can certainly get you into trouble. In other
words, don't forget your manners!
If our communication isn't open and direct, the other
party has to do a lot of guessing work to determine
what we are actually trying to say or want. They may
also feel manipulated (especially if you are being
dishonest too). Behaving inappropriately will lose you
respect and invite ire against you.
As we grow older and deal with more complex social
interactions between friends, family and co-workers,
we also learn to be flexible. Here, flexibility
implies learning to control emotions so that we can
choose our communication style as per the situation,
and not let our emotions dictate our approach.
For example, if your life partner or boss is yelling
at you, it would be more prudent (and assertive) of
you to NOT give in to anger and be aggressive too.
However with a stranger you might prefer (choose) to
be angry and aggressive when threatened, to have an
advantage. Or you might purposefully choose to be
passive when you are being robbed at gun point, so as
to not endanger your life (even if you know Karate and
fell like thrashing the mugger!).
Becoming Assertive
After understanding the basic concepts, the next step
in assertiveness training is practicing it out.
Assertiveness training deals with behaviors of various
complexity. In the first phase, we need to practice
our non-verbal cues. This means, while communicating
Stand straight
Make eye contact
Speak loud enough
If we don't, we quickly lose contact with the other
person, our voice might sound monotonous and our
communication rambling and indirect, and the other
person will have trouble following us and get bored or
annoyed.
In the second phase, we need to practice saying yes or
no, when we want to ask favors and make requests,
communicate our feelings and thoughts in an open and
direct way and handle put downs
In the third phase, we need to learn adaptive
behaviors in job situations the ability to form and
maintain a social network, develop close, personal
relationships.
Source: Sam
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Related: Assertiveness Training
For more information on our assertiveness training
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