There are pros and cons to each behavioral style; however, as far as is generically possible, there is a preferred communication and behavioral style.

Read this article to establish which style you largely use in your daily communications.

When reading about the four possible styles identified here, see what adjustments you need to make to you current preferred style to ensure a more empathetic way of communicating and interacting with others.

The non-assertive styles are being aggressive, passive, and manipulative.

These can be effective for the short-term but, as characteristics of these can include dishonesty, bad feelings, time wasting, and conflict creation, they are not recommended even for short-term effect.

Rarely is a person 100% of any one style. Everyone tends to be a mixture of all four styles.

For example, you may be passive in one setting (being bullied by an aggressive), then retaliate and become aggressive to less threatening people in another setting.

Or, a passive may be passive for so long before s/he explodes.

In newspaper articles, we read that someone 'wouldn't hurt a fly', or is 'as quiet as a mouse', yet in the article, that person has committed a violent crime.

Only the assertive style leads to honest, effective, and a problem-solving-oriented communication, and to the evolution of a well-balanced interactive self.

Both assertiveness and aggressiveness are often associated with self-confidence, but this is incorrect.

In order to understand the nature of assertive behavior and communication, you also need to understand the nature of non-assertive behavior and communication, i.e. aggressively controlling, passively observing and warmly proposing behavior.

Aggressive Controlling Behavior

People exhibiting aggressive behavior have a high level of non-empathetic energy, and like to be in control.

PROS

Aggressive behavior appears commanding and confident

CONS

On the negative side, such people are often insensitive to the rights and needs of others

They may adopt a sarcastic or hostile attitude, and

Will often interrupt and talk over others without listening

Passively Observing Behavior

These people have a low level of energy and a low level of empathy.

PROS

Positive characteristics of people exhibiting this behavior are that they effectively analyze discussions or debates, and

They can listen well

CONS

Their negative aspects mean that they often ignore and sacrifice their own rights

They often stay silent, rather than speaking out, and

They can often feel inept

Firmly Asserting Behavior

PROS

These people have a high little level of energy and are highly empathetic

They take action towards getting what is wanted, without denying another person's rights

They are proactive and solution-oriented to always find a positive way forward

They demonstrate that they value people's feelings and other's needs

Such people are also good listeners

CONS

A drawback of this firmly asserting behavior is that they may not want to coach others who are less assertive

Warmly Proposing Behavior

These people have a gentle level of empathy and low level of energy.

PROS

This behavioral type keeps the discussions and conversations calm and friendly

They gently offer lots of ideas and suggestions

CONS

A negative aspect of this type is that they may not come to the point about what they want or need

They also become upset in the face of high aggression or anger

Every style has its strengths and weaknesses, or its pros and cons, according to the situation.

Some people confuse assertive with being aggressive, but they are worlds apart.

Understanding the pros and cons of these assertion styles means that you are able to plan your behavioral and verbal strategies in advance.