Developing Assertiveness Skills

What is assertiveness and what skills can be used to increase my level of assertiveness?

In the current financial climate where finding and retaining employment is certainly not as easy as it used to be, assertiveness skills can have positive impacts, particularly in one's work environment as well as in maintaining healthy relationships through effective communication. The following key areas to be explored in this article are listed below.

What is assertiveness?

Examples of assertiveness skills

Key benefits of assertiveness

What is Assertiveness?

Assertiveness is basically all about getting your views, feelings, thoughts, requests and opinions across in a clear, healthy and effective manner. It is also about being able to stand up for yourself and making sure that your voice is being heard and the ability to remain calm under pressure. To sum up, a person may be considered as being assertive if they are able to both stand their ground and remain calm and controlled yet firm when they are put under pressure.

Examples of Assertiveness Skills

Anyone can benefit from learning key assertiveness skills and like any skill the more you practice the easier and more natural both thinking and behaving in an assertive manner will become. To be assertive one must learn to think assertively (think about desired results/outcomes in advance of a situation and likely feelings/emotions) and behave assertively (remain calm, listen well and be solution-focused).

A key area is assertive communication which involves several strategies including: acknowledging the other person's opinion/point of view, be clear and concise, use I rather than we to show that you own your feelings/opinions, state your opinion calmly but firmly. Confident, assertive use of body language is also important: keep good eye contact, stand straight, feet flat on the ground, arms by your sides not folded (as this can look confrontational) and head up.

Use disarming when you are being criticized through finding some common ground, however small, rather than jumping straight in to immediately defend yourself. Do your best to use negotiation to get your desired result, the best way to achieve this is to find an outcome that has positives for both parties.

Benefits of Assertiveness

The main benefits of being assertive include the following: you are much more likely to achieve a successful outcome when you are assertive as opposed to aggressive, being clear, calm and concise means you're more easily understood, stressful/high pressure situations will also be much more bearable if you have confidence in your ability to remain calm and this will undoubtedly in turn have a positive impact on your mental health and relationships.