To get ahead in today's world, one needs a degree of assertiveness. This can be described as the ability to confidently state your position without hurting others. Assertiveness can be learned if you think you weren't born with it. But first let's decide whether you've got it or not. Here are 10 signs that you don't quite possess the Assertiveness-Factor:
1. You can't say No. You regularly find yourself doing things you don't like.
2. You swallow your own opinion and say Amen to everyone else's.
3. In a conflict you are more likely to back down.
4. Rather than rock the boat you prefer to go with the flow.
5. You're a people pleaser and often need the validation of others.
6. You habitually put others' needs before your own.
7. You let people get away with treating you badly.
8. People seldom ask your opinion. They just tell you what to do.
9. You stay in unhappy relationships, putting up with abuse.
10. You feel that people often take advantage of you.
The more of these that are true of you, the less assertive you are likely to be. In my opinion, if you ticked 2 or more, you could benefit from assertiveness coaching. In my coaching practice, assertiveness coaching begins with understanding and accepting who you are.
Self-appreciation and acceptance are the beginning of self-respect. When you respect yourself you are confident to be you. When you respect yourself others are more likely to respect you. From here the client is able to learn to communicate, with assertiveness, what they want, and to stand their ground in the face of opposition.
Learning assertiveness takes time, but there is hope for all who are willing to learn assertiveness. And there is much to gain from becoming more assertive.
