Are you comfortable enough in stating your opinion even if the others are not willing to agree with you? When you leave the team meeting then do you feel that you have not quiet discussed all the ideas which were coming in your mind. Just think the last line and if your answer is yes then I really feel that you are not assertive. But in order to come to any type of decision we will have to make sure that what the word assertiveness really means.

In fact there are three words which I would like to discuss with you. They are as follows:

1. Passiveness. 2. Assertiveness. 3. Aggressiveness.

These are the three words which I do feel that forms the continuum. Now it is on you to decide that in real life you fall in which category. Are you a dull or passive child or you are an assertive adult or the aggressor? It is really on you to decide that where you fall in this chain of continuum. It might be that you are assertive and you do not know that you are not aggressive but assertive. The question arises that how can you find out that what you really are.

I would like to present the meaning of each of the three words and then it is on you to decide that what you think about yourself.

Passiveness:

As far as the passiveness is concerned I really feel that it arises when we think that we do not have the right to be heard. In fact we are uncomfortable expressing ourselves. We may not like the response we will get. On most of the cases we push ourselves back to avoid any conflict.

Assertiveness:

We are contented to express what we think, feel and want. We can articulate our view and needs without stepping on others, and without anger or attack. We aim for a resolution that is a win for all.

Aggressiveness:

We stand up for ourselves, even at the cost of others. We use strategy such as loud talking, mockery, desk throbbing and dynamism to get our way.

Real Life

Step back, and think of where you fall on the continuum in most situations. Are you the timid child (passive), rational adult (assertive), or the aggressor (aggressive)?

Now I really feel that in your entire mind it would be quiet clear that what the assertiveness really is. If you are women then there are certain problems which you face while making an attempt to be assertive. However this will happen only when you will allow it to happen. If you think else wise then I do feel that you will definitely not find any difficulty.