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If
you are a manager, then we don’t have to tell
you that managers are often over-worked and under-appreciated.
You have so many different hats to wear, and too many
people to keep up with. Because of the pressure on
your time and energy, it is easy to settle into a
task-driven routine that limits the productivity of
your team because it reduces your effectiveness
as a leader. That’s right, a manager isn’t
just a boss, she is also a leader, and there is a
big difference. We have designed a special course
– The Manager
As Leader – for folks just like you. If
you are looking for a resource to help you develop
the effective leadership skills to make yourself and
your team more successful, your search is over.
Are You
Assertive or Aggressive?
Some
people think assertiveness is aggression - a verbalattack
(or worse) on another person. Others think they'rebeing
assertive, when in fact they're being rude oroverbearing.
Surveys show that skill ininterpersonal communication
tops the list for success - orfailure - in any workplace,
whether you own it, lead it, orwork in it.
Skillful assertiveness goes hand in hand with a person'sconfidence,
good judgment, decision making,performance, health,
and overall effectiveness. From abusiness perspective,
an assertive employee or leader canhelp:
- Reduce
confusion and inefficiencies caused by misunderstandings
and crossed wires
- Clearly
communicate one's vision and goals
- Motivate
others to rally around an idea or program
Eliminate
the meetings, tough decisions, and backpedaling that
result from someone's original intention to "keep
the peace" rather than be assertive
Assertiveness can help strengthenrelationships, reduce
stress, improve your self-image, andmake you more
successful. So why isn't everyoneassertive? People
cite fear of reprisals, reluctanceto rock the boat,
desire to please others, and lowconfidence as reasons
why they are not assertive. While ittakes honest self-awareness
and hard work to realize whyyou are not assertive,
youcan learn how to be more assertive and apply it
to your interactions.
Practical
tips for being assertive
- Realize
that it's all in your head. In situations whereyou
feel you are not speaking your mind, ask yourselfwhy
and then ask, "What's the worst thing that
couldhappen if I share my thoughts in a civil, clear
manner?"The answers to these questions may
very well be all youneed to calm down and act assertively.Very
often, people will see how silly their fears are
andthat the fears are rooted in their minds, not
reality.
-
Let your intentions motivate your response. Allowyourself
to take a moment and identify your beliefs,opinions,
and intentions for sharing a thought. The desire
toplease others often gets in the way of a person'sthinking
process and opinion formation.
-
Be specific. Don't say, "We need that ASAP."
Insteadsay, "I need the proposal finished and
on my desk by 8a.m. Friday. What do you need to
accomplish that?" The more you can avoid assumptions
or mixed messages, thebetter.
-
Don't feign agreement. Don't substitute smiling,nodding,
or adopting other body language that suggestsagreement
just for the sake of keeping the peace.Disagree
actively, but do it in a civil manner! Expressdisagreement
with the idea, not the person -- for example, "I
haveanother opinion, which I'd like to throw on
the table."
-
Ask for clarification. Request more information
whenasked to do something you believe is unreasonable.Perhaps
the explanation will help you understand therequest
more fully and give you the confidence andassurance
to say yes or no.
Sarah
Fenson
"Are
You An Effective Leader?"
Assertiveness
Training Quote
"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is
what keeps you going."
Unknown author
Suggested
Reading:
Asserting
Yourself: A Practical Guide for Positive Change
by Sharon Anthony Bower, Gordon H. Bower
The
Assertive Woman (Personal Growth)
by Stanlee Phelps, Nancy Austin
Assertive
Discipline: Positive Behavior Management for Today's
Classroom
by Lee Canter, Marlene Canter
Assertive
Option: Your Rights and Responsibilities
by Patricia Jakubowski
The
Assertive Woman (Personal Growth)
by Stanlee Phelps, Nancy Austin
Lee
Canter's Assertive Discipline: Positive Behavior Management
for Today's Classroom
by Lee Canter, Marlene Canter
Lee
Canter's Assertive Discipline Elementary Workbook,
Grades K-5
by Lee Canter
Responsible
Assertive Behavior: Cognitive/Behavioral Procedures
for Trainers
by Arthur J. Lange
Your
Perfect Right: A Guide to Assertive Living (Professional
Edition of Your Perfect Right, Vol. 1)
by Robert E. Alberti, Michael Emmons
The
New Assertive Woman
by Lynn Z. Bloom
Your
Perfect Right: A Guide to Assertive Living
by Robert E. Alberti, Michael L. Emmons
Facing
the Schoolyard Bully: How to Raise and Assertive Child
in an Aggressive World
by Kim Zarzour
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